Dir: Gianfranco Parolini
Star:  Gianni Garko, Aldo Canti, Klaus Kinski, Margaret Lee
a.k.a. Five for Hell

Perhaps a better title would be, How Mini-trampolines Helped Win the War.  That this is, I kid you not, a significant aspect of proceedings, should give you a handle on how seriously this should be taken, i.e. not very. In the later stages of World War 2, Allied forces are under threat from a Nazi counter-attack, known as “Plan K”. To find out the details, a group of five American GIs, each possessing a different skill, are sent through enemy lines, on a daring snatch and grab mission to the German headquarters where the plans are stashed in a safe. Led by Lt. Hoffman (Garko, best known as spaghetti Western hero, Sartana), there’s a safe-cracker, an explosives expert, a pugilist and an acrobat (Jordan). They get help from resistance girl Helga (Lee), who has to distract the nasty Nazi in charge, SS Colonel Mueller (Kinski) – she truly puts the “undercover” in “undercover agent”, if you know what I mean, and I think you do.

This was clearly inspired by The Dirty Dozen from two years previously, though the makers here decided pretty much to skip the entire first act of recruitment. They  replace it by opening with three minutes of Hoffman driving around in his jeep, picking up the rest of the team. And training? It’s clearly vastly over-rated. Let’s just go ahead and bypass that, shall we, instead driving up to a road-block dressed as Germans. What could possibly go wrong? Let’s just say, seems the element of surprise was not deemed particularly important. However, despite the news of a party of invading Americans presumably having reached Mueller, it doesn’t appear that security is notably stepped-up in any way around the vital war documents.

Still, the actual mission is well-handled by Parolini, with the infiltration largely taking place in silence, or with only the ambient sounds, which works nicely in generating tension. There are unforeseen obstacles to be overcome – hey, who could have guessed that security fence would turn out to be electrified! If only something had thought to bring a mini-trampol… Hang on. We did? And we’ve got an acrobat to use it! What are the odds? Actually, pretty good: Parolini also made copious use of trampolines in his Western Sabata, made the same year. And, dammit, there’s a silent alarm on the safe connected to a light in Mueller’s bedroom (okay, if you can figure out why it would be silent, you’re a better viewer than I). Fortunately, Helga is on the job there, sucking face with Klaus to ensure he doesn’t see the light. However, it isn’t enough to stop the alert from being raised, and our ferocious five must fight their way out, in order to get the crucial spoils back to the Allied High Command, and save 50,000 of their colleagues from being encircled and crushed.

It’s pretty straight-forward stuff, but entertaining, with the good guys each given their moment in the spotlight, and enough distinguishing character traits to make them identifiable. Lee also makes an impression: surprised to discover she was English, as almost her entire career is in Italian movies. I get the feeling we’ll be seeing a lot  more of Ms. Lee on this site, since she appeared in no less than 11 films alongside Klaus, over the six years from 1966-71 (and was married to his agent). I can’t say I mind that. As for Kinski himself, it’s a little too stereotypical of a role to be truly memorable. Of course, he looks totally spiffy and completely ze part in ze uniform, and there is something nicely sinister about the way he reels Helga in, despite (or perhaps more perversely, because of?) his suspicions she’s playing for the other side. But like just about everyone here, he’s painted in very broad strokes – and the main color used was ‘Nazi Navy’.

Without wishing to give too much away, let’s just say that, like The Dirty Dozen, any sequel would require some serious re-stocking in the personnel department. For a while, it looks like Mueller might escape any form of retribution, even as he commits the usual mistake of leading from the front – look, you’ve got minions, why don’t you send them in to do battle for you? However, I’m pleased to report that a late turn of events prove to be a bit of a shock for him. That’ll probably make more sense when you see the film. I’m chortling as I type. Maybe you will chortle too…