Heroes in Hell (1974)

Dir: Joe D’Amato (as Michael Wotruba)
Star: Lars Bloch, Ettore Manni, Rosemarie Lindt, Klaus Kinski

It’s rarely a good sign when the amount of stock-footage in a film exceeds the amount of Klaus Kinski. Yet that is basically what we get here. Klaus doesn’t show up until the very end – literally, less than twelve minutes before the end-credits roll. It’s far too late to salvage what is a very plodding entry in the spaghetti war genre. It’s certainly one which does nothing to dispel my belief that Joe D’Amato is a talentless hack, who is best served by sticking to porno.

This takes place in the latter days of World War II, as Allied forces are fighting their way across Europe after the Normandy landings. The film begins with the arrival of a pair of captive Allied soldiers, Captain Alan Carter (Bloch) and his co-pilot, Lt. Stain, at a prisoner of war camp in occupied France. Stain has a shrapnel wound in his shoulder, which introduces us to the camp physician, Bakara (Manni), a man who was driven to drink after the death of his wife, and now functions in an entirely alcoholic fog. I sense Oliver Reed was probably the first choice for this part. However, he still seems to know his medical stuff, and is instrumental in coming up with the escape plan, which we’ll get to shortly.

The problems here start early. Half of the first twenty minutes of this are lumps of stock footage, either rolling behind the opening credits, or during a dream sequence as a delirious Stain relives the events which led up to his capture. On its own, as part of a military documentary, this footage might actually be quite interesting, given its authenticity. However, without any explanatory voice-over, it serves no purpose here, except to pad shamelessly the film’s running time. Though there is some mild amusement to be had from the wild cockpit face-pulling by Stan Simon, the actor playing Stain, which is interspersed with the stock footage.

We then get into everyday life in a prisoner of war camp, which seems to consist largely of roll-call, interspersed with escape attempts. And yelling from the guards. So. Much. Yelling. [Though it is a nice touch that the Germans aren’t dubbed, simply left to speak in their unintelligible native tongue] Now, we get to Baraka’s plan. It is fairly loopy: the sort of thing you’d come up with at the end of a binge of heavy drinking. Or as the doctor calls it, Tuesday… The plan involves rubbing poisonous leaves on the participants, to raise blisters which Bakara convinces the camp commandant are the symptoms of bubonic plague. Somehow, it works, and gets the “infected” prisoners shipped out of the camp, for fear of infecting the rest.

On the road, they break out of the vehicle transporting them, which leads to significant amounts of roaming the French countryside and avoiding the pursuing Nazis. They eventually link up with the local resistance under their commander Julien, including token love-interest, Maria (Lindt). They are working on a plan to kidnap a high-ranking Nazi official present in the area, General Kaufmann (Kinski, naturally!) in order to extract the information he knows about troop strengths, movements, etc. The partisans welcome the escaped POWs, since they could use all the help they can get. Including, apparently, even a thoroughly-soused doctor like Baraka.

Before we get to that, there is some further dawdling to be done, with a subplot involving a local family, arrested by the Gestapo for collaborating with the resistance. Julien bravely gives himself up to save the wife, and the rest of his team ride to the rescue as he and the husband are literally facing the firing squad. It’s another example of the film wasting time on a plot thread which is of no significance or relevance, and could easily be removed. But then, if you removed everything from this which was superfluous, you’d have about 15 minutes of actual content. For finally – and we’re talking well over an hour into a film which runs only 83 minutes – we get round to the attempt to kidnap Kaufmann.

The General, as portrayed by Kinski, is a bit of an art connoisseur, more interested in restoring a lost Da Vinci painting than, oh, rounding up Jews and sending them off to death camps. He believes protecting these works of art is an important part of the occupying army’s duties: “Imagine how the Americans would act,” he declares. “They’d no doubt use these paintings to light fires!” That’s the last straw for his abductors, who have managed to talk their way in to an audience with Kaufmann, and they demand at gunpoint that he hand over the defense plans. The film does manage to generate some moments of tension as they make their way through the building with the captive, or as the lookout outside – who doesn’t speak German – has to handle a conversation with a Nazi soldier. Complicating matters, is that Kaufmann must be taken alive, because… reasons?

It all ends in a moderately-sized battle, though the impact is severely dampened by the movie’s budget not apparently extending to blood squibs. So, when people get shot, they just fall down, like kids playing war in the schoolyard. And there is a lot of this, with not many survivors on either side. It all ends with Baraka, who has somehow managed to survive, staring into the camera, over a montage of all his fallen comrades. If you can find it in yourself to give a damn about any of them, you’re more easily swayed than I. The pacing is perhaps the biggest problem here. There’s no sense of escalation, the film instead lurching from a POW story to a resistance one, then onto the mission to abduct the general, as if D’Amato repeatedly got bored with his own film.

It would be no trouble at all to take the same elements and come up with ways to improve it. Forget the POW aspects entirely, and just focus on a partisan plan to abduct the general. Introduce him way earlier, build him up as an actual character, and have the Allied fighters deal with obstacles as they try to complete their mission. Concentrate on one or two of them, so that their loss has an actual impact. This is basic film-making. That the director here seems oblivious to it, says a lot about his “talents”, as does his almost complete waste of Kinski. Even by the low standards of D’Amato, this is unimpressive, and very definitely the lesser of the films in which he directed Klaus [see also Death Smiles on a Murderer].

Il dito nella piaga (1969)

Dir: Tonino Ricci
Star: George Hilton, Klaus Kinski, Ray Saunders, Betsy Bell
a.k.a. Salt in the Wound

It’s a bit odd how the Italian film industry in the early seventies were quite the war machine, churning out film after film about WW2. After all, it was less than 30 years since they had, let’s not forget, been on the losing side, thanks to Mussolini’s alliance with Hitler. I guess enough time had passed for a movie-going generation to arise, who hadn’t been through the war, and so weren’t averse to reliving it. A bit like the sudden burst of Hollywood films in the eighties about Vietnam – a conflict that didn’t exactly end well for the US of A, Rambo notwithstanding. Though here, there’s a little historical revisionism at work: even though it firmly takes place in Italy, it’s very much America vs. Germany, with the locals simply the residents of occupied territory, who welcome the Yanks as liberators. Not sure how entirely true that was; I’ll defer to historical experts.

The other aspect that’s particularly unusual here is Kinski’s role. While neither his first nor his last war movie, it’s the only one to this point I’ve seen where he plays an American, rather than a Naxi as you’d expect. Admittedly, he’s not exactly a heroic GI. Indeed, the opening scene sees Corporal Norman Carr (Kinski) engaging in a spot of murder and looting, not exactly authorized by the articles of war. He’s captured by Allied military police, and hauled up before a military tribunal along with another soldier, Private Calvin Mallory (Saunders). Both are found guilty and sentenced to face a firing squad the next morning. In charge of the squad who’ll be executing the execution, as it were, is Lieutenant Michael Sheppard (Hilton), fresh out of West Point, and who rigorous approach to doing things by the book, is the subject of some bleak amusement for his superiors, who have first-hand experience of the gulf between that and the realities of war.

saltinthewoundCarr and Mallory are literally up against the wall, when fate intervenes, in the shape of an ambush by German troops. The prisoners seize the chance to escape, and Sheppard, the only survivor of his squad goes with them. He’s quite open about the fact that he’s going to bring them back and make them face justice, and I have to say, Carr is remarkably chill about the prospect. [Mallory, meanwhile, is remarkably chill about virtually everything. He spent the night before his scheduled execution singing hymns, right up until his cellmate had had enough] After successfully ambushing a group of Nazi soldiers, they acquire a jeep, with the aim, expressed by Carr, of keeping as far away from actual fighting as possible. This takes them to the town of San Michele, which initially appears deserted. Except, the inhabitants have actually been in hiding. They suddenly pour out to greet what they believe to be the forces of liberation, rather than two war criminals and an officer with a stick up his ass.

Naturally, our trio aren’t averse to being treated like heroes. Carr hits it off with local beauty Daniela (Bell), and Mallory befriends a local kid: fatal mistakes, as we’ll see. However, Carr hasn’t entirely reformed, and when Sheppard sees him attempting to make off with the church’s treasures, it takes a bit of two-fisted encouragement to dissuade the perp. Further discussion on the topic is rudely interrupted, with the appearance of a brigade of Germans, intent on re-capturing the town, and we’re deep into Saving Private Ryan territory the rest of the way. The first wave of Axis attacks is successfully repelled, not least because they weren’t expecting much resistance. However, this only provides a brief respite, and it’s not long before the Nazis return, in greater force and this time bringing tanks with them. Can our heroes hold out until help arrives?

“My mother was a whore.” So begins one of Kinski’s monologues, as he explains his cynicism to Daniela. It has to be said, he makes a compelling case, for example, pointing out the Germans have “God is with us” inscribed on their belt-buckles: everyone thinks that. I don’t want to spoil anything, but let’s just say the chances for either him or Mallory making it to the end, are severely hampered by the fact that their respective pals have all the survival skills of suicidal lemmings. Daniela, for example, rushes in to cling on to Carr’s arm, shrieking “I just want to be with you!” It doesn’t end well for her. It also leads to a point-of-view shot from inside one of the German tanks, where we get to see Klaus making the face shown at the end of the review. This must rank among the ten best Kinski faces of all time, and it probably the last thing I would want to see coming at me, even if safely embedded inside a tank.

The pacing is a bit off, in that the middle contains rather more sitting around an Italian village and chatting, than I would have said is strictly necessary. However, after a tendency for the early battles to be little more than schoolyard level spraying of automatic gunfire, the final confrontation is extremely well-staged and gives as good an insight into the terror of facing armored opposition as anything I’ve seen, the tanks being depicted basically as unstoppable. When that turret starts to swivel in your direction… you’d better get out of the way. Kinski’s character here is a fascinating one too. He’s clearly no saint, and has more baggage than an entire airport terminal, yet you sense he’s a product of circumstance rather than inherent malice. Carr has clearly thought about his situation, and decided it’s untenable, leading to him behaving on the purely selfish level. As such, it represents the other end from Ryan‘s heroic altruism, and is likely all the better for it. For my money, this is the best of the Kinski war films I have seen so far.

saltinthewound2

Kommando Leopard (1985)

Dir: Antonio Margheriti
Star: Lewis Collins, Cristina Donadio, Manfred Lehmann, Klaus Kinski

Part of my childhood growing up in the late seventies was The Professionals, a two-fisted TV series centered around Bodie and Doyle, operatives of fictional British government agency, C.I.5, and their boss Cowley. While my memories are vague, I recall a lot of whizzing around, in what Wikipedia helpfully tells me was a Ford Capri, with a lot of shootouts and punch-ups. Like most 12-year-old boys at the time, I wanted to be Bodie. Or Doyle. I forget which. I mention this, because Bodie was played by Collins, and watching him running around the Philippino jungles, pretending it’s somewhere in “Latin America” was an immediate throwback to watching him running around the streets of North London.

This was the second of three movies he made with Margheriti, following Code Name: Wild Geese (an unofficial sequel to The Wild Geese) the previous year, which also had Kinski in a supporting role. It begins with a tense attack by Enrique Carrasco (Collins – yeah, not exactly an obvious Hispanic) and his allies on a dam, seeking to disrupt the fuel distribution network of President Homoza, the man who rules over this unnamed Latin American country with an iron fist. When the plan succeeds, Homoza orders the head of his secret police, Silveira (Kinski), to capture the “terrorists” responsible – or failing that, render the local population into such a state of fear, that Carrasco will be unable to rely on them for support.

kommando2Thus begins a game of cat and mouse between Silveira and Carrasco, who joins forces with the typical slew of characters you get in movies like this – a foreign mercenary, a Catholic priest (Lehmann), hot local chick Maria (Donadi). Meanwhile, Silveira and his militia forces stop at nothing to paint Carrasco and crew as the bad guys, including gunning down refugees, shooting up a hospital, and even blowing up a plane full of 185 kids and blaming it on the rebels. Damn: even by the standards of psychopathy we’ve come to expect from our #1 German lunatic, that’s cold. Needless to say, this doesn’t stop the revolutionaries from their mission, and the tide begins to turn as they blow up a freight train – and the oil refinery through which it is going at the time. Inevitably, in ends with Silveria making the fatal mistake of entering the field himself, a decision which leads to him being Qadaffi’d by the locals before Carrasco can intervene.

There’s more than a slight degree of irony in producer Erwin C. Dietrich opting to use the Philippines as a stand-in for a despotic banana republic – because the country was, at the time, hardly any different, being in its third decade of control by President Ferdinand Marcos, hardly a model leader. This was made not very long after opposition leader  Benigno Aquino had been gunned down at Manila Airport, getting off the plane bringing him back from exile. And barely four months after Kommando opened in Germany, Marcos and his wife Imelda were booted from office and bailed out on the country entirely, famously leaving behind her collection of 2,700 pairs of shoes. So, safe to say, knowledge of the contemporary and future political climate adds a certain resonance to things.

That said, there’s good reason the country was a hotbed of B-movie film production around this time: you certainly got lots of value for your money (I vaguely recall reading that, if you got on Marcos’s good side, he’d loan you military hardware and troops for your shoot). The budget here was reportedly about 15 million Swiss francs – the most expensive Swiss-financed production to that point – which translates to about $16.5 million in today’s money, so this wasn’t a bargain basement piece of work. About half of that went on effects, and it’s all up on the screen, with some pretty impressive model work being blown up, in particular the opening dam and the oil refinery. Though perhaps the coolest things ever, for any wannabe evil overlord, are the helicopter gunships with flamethrowers mounted in their noses. There’s one shot of it letting rip, right into the camera lens, which had me wondering if this was shot in 3D.

During the early stages, which have Collins roaming the jungle, while Kinski sits comfortably in the President’s palace, I wondered if this had been part of the contract negotiations, but as mentioned, Klaus does end up getting down and dirty as well. Though going by the (low-resolution, sorry) clip below, it doesn’t appear to have done anything at all for his sunny disposition! The distance between hero and antagonist does impact things: it feels more dispassionate, almost like a chess match, watching them move their forces around the board, though Carrasco is in the trenches with his troops, to a much greater degree. It is a good role for Kinski, and he makes the most of it; however, the focus is very much on the good guys, and Collins (who once auditioned for Cubby Broccoli as a possible James Bond) doesn’t do much to stand out from the foliage.

5 per l’inferno (1969)

Dir: Gianfranco Parolini
Star:  Gianni Garko, Aldo Canti, Klaus Kinski, Margaret Lee
a.k.a. Five for Hell

five-for-hellPerhaps a better title would be, How Mini-trampolines Helped Win the War.  That this is, I kid you not, a significant aspect of proceedings, should give you a handle on how seriously this should be taken, i.e. not very. In the later stages of World War 2, Allied forces are under threat from a Nazi counter-attack, known as “Plan K”. To find out the details, a group of five American GIs, each possessing a different skill, are sent through enemy lines, on a daring snatch and grab mission to the German headquarters where the plans are stashed in a safe. Led by Lt. Hoffman (Garko, best known as spaghetti Western hero, Sartana), there’s a safe-cracker, an explosives expert, a pugilist and an acrobat (Jordan). They get help from resistance girl Helga (Lee), who has to distract the nasty Nazi in charge, SS Colonel Mueller (Kinski) – she truly puts the “undercover” in “undercover agent”, if you know what I mean, and I think you do.

This was clearly inspired by The Dirty Dozen from two years previously, though the makers here decided pretty much to skip the entire first act of recruitment. They  replace it by opening with three minutes of Hoffman driving around in his jeep, picking up the rest of the team. And training? It’s clearly vastly over-rated. Let’s just go ahead and bypass that, shall we, instead driving up to a road-block dressed as Germans. What could possibly go wrong? Let’s just say, seems the element of surprise was not deemed particularly important. However, despite the news of a party of invading Americans presumably having reached Mueller, it doesn’t appear that security is notably stepped-up in any way around the vital war documents.

Still, the actual mission is well-handled by Parolini, with the infiltration largely taking place in silence, or with only the ambient sounds, which works nicely in generating tension. There are unforeseen obstacles to be overcome – hey, who could have guessed that security fence would turn out to be electrified! If only something had thought to bring a mini-trampol… Hang on. We did? And we’ve got an acrobat to use it! What are the odds? Actually, pretty good: Parolini also made copious use of trampolines in his Western Sabata, made the same year. And, dammit, there’s a silent alarm on the safe connected to a light in Mueller’s bedroom (okay, if you can figure out why it would be silent, you’re a better viewer than I). Fortunately, Helga is on the job there, sucking face with Klaus to ensure he doesn’t see the light. However, it isn’t enough to stop the alert from being raised, and our ferocious five must fight their way out, in order to get the crucial spoils back to the Allied High Command, and save 50,000 of their colleagues from being encircled and crushed.

fiveforhell2It’s pretty straight-forward stuff, but entertaining, with the good guys each given their moment in the spotlight, and enough distinguishing character traits to make them identifiable. Lee also makes an impression: surprised to discover she was English, as almost her entire career is in Italian movies. I get the feeling we’ll be seeing a lot  more of Ms. Lee on this site, since she appeared in no less than 11 films alongside Klaus, over the six years from 1966-71 (and was married to his agent). I can’t say I mind that. As for Kinski himself, it’s a little too stereotypical of a role to be truly memorable. Of course, he looks totally spiffy and completely ze part in ze uniform, and there is something nicely sinister about the way he reels Helga in, despite (or perhaps more perversely, because of?) his suspicions she’s playing for the other side. But like just about everyone here, he’s painted in very broad strokes – and the main color used was ‘Nazi Navy’.

Without wishing to give too much away, let’s just say that, like The Dirty Dozen, any sequel would require some serious re-stocking in the personnel department. For a while, it looks like Mueller might escape any form of retribution, even as he commits the usual mistake of leading from the front – look, you’ve got minions, why don’t you send them in to do battle for you? However, I’m pleased to report that a late turn of events prove to be a bit of a shock for him. That’ll probably make more sense when you see the film. I’m chortling as I type. Maybe you will chortle too…

Churchill’s Leopards (1970)

Dir: Maurizio Pradeaux
Star: Richard Harrison, Pilar Velázquez, Giacomo Rossi-Stuart, Klaus Kinski

Churchills_LeopardsCan’t complain about the poster, though the truth is that Kinski’s role, while pivotal, is more supporting than as front and center as it would have you believe. The true star is Harrison, who plays twin brothers, both lieutenants in the armed forces – only one is a Nazi, Lt. Hans Müller, the other a Brit, Lt. Richard Benson. The former is in charge of the defenses for a French dam, and with D-Day imminent, Winston Churchill comes up with a plan to blow up the dam, which would cause havoc to the German supply lines. The plan involves taking out Muller, and plugging in Benson, who will then be ideally placed to assist a group of commandos, led by Major Powell (Rossi-Stuart) parachuted into enemy territory with the tools necessary to destroy the facility, with the additional help of the local resistance, one of whose members (Velázquez) falls for Benson. Kinski plays the local SS commander, Captain Holtz, who grows increasingly suspicious that pseudo-Müller’s behavior is inconsistent with the real thing, and brings an old flame back from Paris to confirm these doubts.

The antecedents in this case are classic war flicks such as The Guns of Navarone (1961), The Heroes of Telemark (1965), and Where Eagles Dare (1968), depicting similar missions in which a small group of Allied soldiers are dropped behind Nazi lines, with the aim of taking out a key piece of local infrastructure. Obviously, this has nowhere near the same degree of star power, nor can it manage the same degree of spectacle. The latter is particularly obvious when – and I trust this isn’t much of a spoiler – the dam is blown up at the end, which is depicted in a mix of stock footage and painfully bad model work, that bears only the faintest resemblance to the landscape shown as its actual location. There’s more stock footage book-ending the film for its credits, though at least this does provide some appropriate scene-setting for what follows.

The rest of the story is largely a collection of well-worn war clichés, as the heroic Tommies (ironically, there’s not an actual Brit to be seen – you can hear a few, apparently doing the dubbing) escape discovery by the nasty Nazis, through a combination of luck, pluck and the timely intervention of pseudo-Müller. This all builds to the actual attack on the dam, after a delay caused by the discovery that they now need a quarter-mile of waterproof cable to reach the spot underwater where they’ll place their explosives. It’s never explained why they don’t blow things up from the dry side of the edifice, but presumably there were sound, structural engineering reasons for this, that the movie just chose not to share with the audience. Their preparations are interrupted when Holtz gets the proof he needs, and realizes what’s about to happen, leading to a massive gun-battle, with so much indiscriminate automatic gunfire, it felt like something I’d have re-enacted enthusiastically in my school playground, as a nine-year-old.

Churchills_Leopards2Kinski’s character is, to some extent, a reprise of his role the previous year in Five For Hell. However, it’s actually among the more interesting aspects of the film, because he does succeed in being more than the typical, jackbooted stereotype. The first time we meet him, he seems positively cheerful, and is clearly a smart slice of Schwartzwalder kirschtorte, to the extent that his leading the charge into battle, literally firing the opening shots against the Allied forces, seems out of character and foolhardy. However, make no mistake: he’s an SS officer. There’s no room to question that, after two German soldiers are killed, having come too close to discovering the undercover group. He takes 20 locals – including the love interest – hostage, and lets it be known that he’ll execute them if those responsible for the deaths don’t come forward and admit it. This leads to the film’s tensest and best scene, where the hostages are lined up on the edge of a ravine, gazing down the barrel of a machine-gun. What will the anti-Nazis do? And even if they do come forward, will Holtz honor his side of the demand?

If only the rest of the film could have tried to generate the same level of enthusiasm. The problem here is that, while the spaghetti Westerns often succeeded in bringing something new to the genre, this spaghetti War film seems content to follow slavishly in the well-trodden path of other, better movies. As a result, it’s neither fresh, nor interesting, and outside of Kinski, you’d be much better off watching the Hollywood examples mentioned above, which are superior in just about every way.